“Your words are to be edifying. Your tasks sacrificial. Your motive for the glory of God.” -The Excellent Wife

One year ago I wrote a self seeking post on my obsession with Twilight and the “lack of adventure” in my marriage. The decline of my marriage came quickly after and brought Nate and I into the hardest season we had ever faced. One year later, I can say thank you God for humbling us! I was so self seeking in my marriage, as was Nate as he’d admit, and the combination of selfishness and pride makes for a quick demise. There is so much to write as I share my journey with you, but I thought I’d start in saying that He is good, He is good, He is good! In our darkest hour and when the sun is shining. More to come…

To my 2 readers…

After getting bored with the direction of this blog and because of it’s randomness, I decided to make a NEW blog.  One that is focused on my little man and that will allow this blog to deal with more personal things going on in my life.  The title of this blog is “Significance over Comfort” and I’m going to write about exactly that.  The past few weeks with the Lord have been breaking and beautiful all at the same time.  I can’t wait to share.

My my, it has been awhile since I’ve updated! I think I feel like I have to write a really long post, but don’t really have time to do that.  So it’s like a long friend you’ve been dying to call, but never do because you don’t have an uninterrupted hour to do so.  Are you with me? I post lots of pictures on Facebook and seem to forget about my blog.  I promise to get better about posting, and will try to do so at least once a week.

What have we been up to?  Well my title says it all.

Routines
I have been trying so hard to get in a routine with baby boy.  Figuring out when he naps, how to deal with nap time when we’re out and about, when is best to bathe him, ect.  It’s so fun being an observer of my baby.  Watching for that magic moment when he rubs his eyes and I help him go to sleep or the ever fun watching him spit up over his clean outfit I just changed, from the other clean outfit I put on 5 minutes ago.  I’ve always had so much fun people watching, but baby watching, who knew it would be this fun?! 

We’ve got a pretty good routine going…Wake up at 8, bath, nurse, play, nap from 9:30-12:30 (My best time to get things done!  I’m like a hurricane cleaning, cooking, researching…) and then 2 more naps during the day and then off to bed by 8:30.   He’s finally just started sleeping 7-8 hour stretches at night.  Yay!  I used to say his happiest time of the day was in the morning, but now he’s just a happy boy all the time!

Smiles

Levi has become this happy, joyful little boy!  It’s amazing because his smiles are so contagious!  He started smiling on purpose around 6 weeks  and now you’d swear he was eating the air as he smiles from side to side.  Here are a few of his different smiles:

His “straight up chillin” smile.

Levi’s “eating the air” smile

His “coy” smile

“Up to no good” smile

And my favorite, Levi’s “I love my Mommy” smile.  Makes my heart melt!!!

Milestones

At little man’s 2 month check up, he weighed 12lbs, 2oz, still measured 22.5 inches long and 16inch head circumfrance.  He’s chunked out since then though as he gets heavier and heavier!  

At 10 weeks Levi can:

*Sleep a 7-8 hour stretch at night

*Track objects with his eyes

*Grip a rattle or other object

*Hold his head up for a very long time…his neck is so strong!

*Get control over his hands to rub his eyes when sleepy and cover them when it’s too bright.  He also strokes his face, my arms when content.  So sweet!

*Roll onto his side, but not onto his tummy yet!

*Lift his head, like he’s trying to sit upright in his carseat and when laying down

Quirks…

*Drools, chews on his hand constantly (pre-teething???)

*Prefers to be at home.  He’s definitely more at ease in a familiar place

*Loves to be held!  What baby doesn’t though?  His name in Hebrew means “attached” so I’m not surprised! 

*Can instantly be quieted when you put your hand under his head and bottom and bounce him up and down while saying “shhhhh” loudly in his ear.  He can be screaming, but the second you do that, he stops.  It’s amazing!!

*Levi is already such a book worm!  His favorite books include, “Mr. Brown can Moo, Can you?”, “The Wheels on the Bus” and “Mi Libro Camiones de Bomberos”   Check him out below, “reading.” 

Joy

What joy it’s been to be a mom.  Nate and I were laughing about how we don’t remember what life was like before Levi, in a good way!  We can’t picture it any different now.  Nate is such a wonderful, wonderful Daddy.  His face lights up when he sees his little boy and tells Levi what good buddies they are going to be.  My heart soars every time I see my little man in his Daddy’s arms!

That’s it for now.  We’re moving to a bigger apartment in 2 weeks so we’ll see how much posting I can get done between now and then. 

Whew, I’m tired!  All that typing made me sleepy.  Happy Monday!

Levi Patrick Hembree – Named after my Grandma, Patricia, whom we love dearly!

For months I had researched, planned, discussed and anticipated the birth of our son, Levi.  Nothing could have prepared me for the rawness, intensity and above all pure beauty of labor. 

Friday, May 1st, I woke up with contractions that were 7-8 minutes apart and I was excited to get things rolling.  I called my mom and my friend/doula, Niccole, and I assumed I’d be having the baby by the evening.  Boy was I wrong.  I went for a brisk walk to try and get them going again.  Contractions tinkered out mid day and I went for a massage to hopefully have my pressure points trigger labor again.  Again, it was wishful thinking!  By evening, contractions started again, but were sporadic and I realized this baby would come when he wanted, not by my timing.  Saturday morning, there were more contractions like the day before…contracting in the morning, tinkering out in the afternoon. 

Saturday night was different however in that a  HUGE storm rolled through the area.  We were sitting on the couch and I started contracting.  10 minutes apart.  8 minutes apart.  7, 6, 5, 4, 3.  They quickly intensified and I had trouble focusing as the pain tightened around my lower abdomen and my lower back.  We called the birthing center and talked with the midwife on call.  She told us to come in since the contractions were so close together.  I called Niccole to tell her that we were heading in and she told me to buy some time by taking a hot shower because the roads were so bad from the storm.  We headed out to Allen Birthing Center 20 minutes later and as we drove further into the heart of the storm, the contractions intensified and grew closer together.  Nate called Kelly his sister to let her know I was in labor and to send out a mass text to our friends and family so they knew what was going on.  He also called our photographer Ashlee who was going to document the birth.  We approached the birthing center and they were right on top of one another.  I was ready to meet my baby.  He had other plans though as the midwife checked to see how dilated I was and discovered that I was only 1 1/2 cm dilated and 80% effaced.  The falling barometric pressure had caused pre-labor!  Her advice was to go home and get some rest.  A tired body does not labor well.  Defeated, we called Niccole  and Ashlee and told them to turn around and go home, it was a false alarm. 

We tried to sleep that night and the contractions although not as close together as they were ensued throughout the night.  Sunday, tired, hurting and wanting to see my baby, Niccole came over to discuss any fears that I had that might be hindering labor.  The mind is a powerful thing and not only was I exhausted, but there were so many unresolved fears I had of labor, motherhood, etc that I hadn’t let go of.  Take my advice:  resolve your fears early, get LOTS of rest during labor and relax.  Your body will take over and know what to do!  That night was miserable to say the least.  I tried every position I could to ease the pain…leaning over an exercise ball, lying down on my side, having Nate do hip compressions, press on my sacrum, take a hot shower, bath, etc.  At 1:00am, the contractions were 3 minutes apart and we headed to the birthing center again only to find that I was dilated to 2cm.  I wanted to cry as I imagined laboring like this again throughout the night and again through the next day.  Amy the midwife told me that I needed to rest and gave me a shot in my hip to help me sleep.  We went home and I tried to sleep the best I could. 

At 9:00am on Monday, May 3rd, we headed to the birthing center once again and I told Nate that we were not heading home again.  I was determined to have this baby!  Praise God we discovered that I was dilated to a 5 when we arrived at the center.  I was FINALLY in active labor.  A little sleep goes a long way!  I was so exhausted and needed to continue to dilate that Amy gave me a shot of Nubain to help ease the contraction pain so I could sleep.  Again,  a tired body does not labor well!  I went upstairs to the room where I would have the baby and slept for 3 hours.  At noon I woke up telling Nate that the Nubain had worn off and I needed more.  Amy checked me again and I was dilated to an 8.  Things were really moving now!  At that point, everything was a blur.  I remember I started yelling that I had to go to the bathroom and as I got to the restroom my water broke.  The waters had some meconium in it, but not enough to worry the midwife.  She started filling up the birthing tub and I got in as soon as I could.  It was instant comfort since water had been my main form of relaxation during pregnancy.  Niccole came at some point during this time and I was so relieved to have her there.  I couldn’t have imagined having my baby without her!  I labored in the tub for quite some time and Nate helped aleviate the pain with hip compressions and helping me to relax and not be tense.  The corny phrase you hear over and over in the natural childbirth community is “Just let go.” But it’s so true!  My body was designed to give birth and I had to trust in the process. 

Then began the pushing…no one told me it was time, but it’s amazing how my body just knew.  With glazed eyes, I pushed and rested.  Pushed and rested.  And then I pushed.  And pushed.  At one point I said I couldn’t push anymore and asked Niccole to encourage me.  She helped me to refocus and remember why I chose a natural child birth.  I realized that this baby wasn’t going to come unless I pushed through the pain.  When I felt his head, I was determined to hold Levi and push with all my might.  At 2:35, Levi Patrick Hembree was born into the world.  I was instantly in love and one of the first things I said to him was, “I would have pushed a million times for you!”  It’s true.  The reward of holding your precious baby at the end makes the pain of labor endurable.  There was nothing sweeter than holding my baby boy in my arms.

The only complication was that Levi’s umbilical cord was short and broke when I pulled him out of the water, but other than that, it was a smooth delivery.  We went home about 3 hours after the birth and began our life as parents.  I have to say, there is nothing quite as beautiful as beginning a new role:  Motherhood.

Levi and his beautiful conehead. =)

                                                                Nate calling his family.

                                                      7lbs 2 1/2 oz, 20 inches long

                                                      10 perfect fingers and toes.

                    Daddy praying over the newest addition to our family.

                                          The proud and very tired parents. =)

There aren’t words to describe how much I love being a mommy.  The cuddles, the kisses.  Soothing my boy after he’s been crying.  Looking into his eyes and hoping he knows just how loved he truly is.  The list could go on and on.  I was telling my friend the other day that all the trite things you worry about in pregnancy are simply that, trite.  I would have taken a thousand stretch marks if it meant getting to hold my little boy for a day.  I laugh that I worried about how I was going to get to the pool this summer when now I realize I haven’t been outside for a full week.  I’d much rather soak up each precious coo of my little one.  Can you tell that I’m in love? 

Ashlee came and captured a few moments of our new life with Levi when he was just 5 days old.  He’s changed so much already since he was born!  Thank you Ashlee for sharing your talent and beautiful gift with our family.  We will be forever grateful!

I’ve done a lot of reading this pregnancy, baby related and not, but there are a few books that I have continuously gone back to for advice.  Here are my top 5, but feel free to leave a comment and add your suggestions!

In no particular order…

The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley

A great book for those who don’t want to do the “cry-it out” method, but also don’t want the alternative of being a martyr for the next few years.  It teaches you what a typical sleep cycle looks like for a baby, a variety of sleep solutions for different parenting styles (which I love b/c every baby is not the same!), setting nighttime routines and bedtime associations, etc.  I’ve read this book twice and feel like until Levi is here, I won’t be completely aware of his sleeping needs until I experience them myself. 

The Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer

This book taught me that we have options in child birth and made me question routine procedures that doctors do.  No, I don’t think doctors are bad, but it’s VERY troublesome to study the amount of unnececesary cesareans:  ones that are brought on by other inverventions like induction, premature rupture of membranes, epidurals, etc.  There are two sides of the coin with one being that some interventions are absolutely necessary and lifesaving.  But the scary fact is that many of these interventions have a cascading effect leading to almost a 40% rate of cesareans, when less than 10% are necessary.  I know this is a sensitive topic and is often loaded.  If you’ve had a cesarean birth, I am no way judging your choice of delivery.  The end result was a healthy mom and healthy baby which is the best outcome!  Moreso I was blown away by the staggering statistics of interventions and attitudes of modern medicine.  While it’s important to understand that things might not go as planned in labor, it is imperative to be educated on the birthing process and your choices.  This book comes HIGHLY recommended.

The Baby Book by William Sears, M.D.

This book is such a wonderful compilation of everything from birth, preparing for baby, bonding, diapering your baby, breastfeeding, babywearing, nighttime parenting, common medical problems, postpartum adjustments and everything inbetween!  It’s a thick read, 749 pages, but one of those books that you can read sections that you have questions about then put it down.  Dr. Sears is a fantastic mix of holistic and traditional care so most people would be very pleased with this book.

Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way by Susan McCutcheon

I’m planning on giving birth at Allen Birthing Center by way of a water birth so this book has been so important in labor preparations for us.  Stop right there, I know what you’re thinking, “Okay, this girl has lost her mind!  A water birth?!  Is she some sort of hippy?!”  No, yes, not really.  Water helps relieve some of the pain of contractions and is considered “the midwifes epidural” and for me has been my main way of relaxation during pregnancy.  Back to the book…this is a great book for laying out the different stages of birth, getting your body/mind ready for birth, and how your husband/partner can help coach you during labor.  The book is pretty graphic, but so is labor.  

Lastly…

The Complete Book of Pregnancy and Childbirth by Sheila Kitzinger

What I love about this book is the layout:  pregnancy/physical emotional changes, pregnancy/anticipating the birth, The experience of birth, you and your newborn and different scenarios like a hospital birth, a home birth and a water birth.  Again, a very graphic book, but such a wonderful overview of natural birth and relaxion methods. 

I’m 39 weeks pregnant today!  Looks like I’d better get cracking on posting nursery pics. 

Happy reading!

After listening to a quick sermon on Good Friday by our pastor, Matt Chandler, I am reminded of the hope of the gospel:  That we who were once under wrath are now under mercy, not because of ANYTHING we’ve done, but in God’s benevolent love, He poured the wrath, which was meant for us, on his own son, Jesus by sending him to die on the cross. 

Thank you Lord that your death on the cross meant that we too have died and are now counted alive within you!

Aapparantly we just can’t get enough of Baby H!   Ashlee Cabrera an aspiring photographer took some awesome photos for us this past weekend and we are forever grateful.  Take a look below and then check out her website.  You won’t be disappointed!  I have to give a shoutout to our friend, Emron, who has his own denim company, Prospect Denim, and gave me the fabulous jeans I’m wearing in the pics.  Thanks Emron!

5 1/2 weeks to go!!

It’s bizarre the way you meet people.

Nate and I plan events for our apartment complex and had a “Doggie Portrait” session for our residents.  Our friend Aina was originally going to shoot it, but had to cancel so we asked our friend Matt if we would help out.  He couldn’t and referred us to Brian Braun, a commercial photographer and member of the Village (our church). Brian came and so graciously shot the doggies of Northside and then was off to a shoot for Porshe.  I had joked with him about doing my maternity pics in exchange for a really nice dinner and he laughed.  And then accepted. 

So here we are with INCREDIBLE maternity portraits and a new friend.  He printed two of the pictures yesterday and gave them to us as a gift for our son.  Wow we are blessed.  Thank you Braun for sharing your amazing talent with our family! 

I’m astounded at the generosity of those we know and the God who put them in our path.  All I can say is that He is good and He provides, even for our things like maternity portraits. 

Matthew 6:26-27

²⁵“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? ²⁶Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life^[a]?

Here is the latest from Brian Braun…the photography stallion!  More to come…